Britney Rose Missions

I won’t walk you all the way through the last 6 months. I could, but I won’t. I will focus on what matters. The last 6 months I have spent in a constant battle with God. I mean we are talking gloves on, mouth guard in, one side of the ring to the next, boxing match. Friday, February 27th as I was heading to serve for the weekend at our Collide youth retreat I prayed for Daniel sized visions. There was so much uncertainty going on in my life. I needed a break through.

 As Sunday (March 1st) rolled around the only break though I had was God telling me “this job that you think is perfect for you. Isn’t. It is there and yours if you take it, but I am telling you not to.” As you can imagine I was pretty frustrated leaving church Sunday. I called my mom in tears.

“What do you mean its not for me. This is my dream job, this job was made for me. Mom it was made for me. What does he mean its not for me…. He has lost his mind!” My mom questioned me and asked if maybe I heard Him wrong, got my prayer mixed up. I laughed and said “No mom, no mix up. He made it very very very clear. There was no silent treatment. I don’t know what He wants from me.”

Monday was a struggle for me to get through; I spent half the day in tears and the other half moping around. What in the world did He want from me? I debated leaving. Packing up the car and heading for the hills. Falling off the map was more of my train of thought. This whole adult thing wasn’t for me.  Obviously I stayed, I spent Tuesday figuring out the rest of the month financially. So here we are at Wednesday, March 4th.

First let me tell you I was DREADING going to church Wednesday night. My whole life I never liked missions night. Praying for people going was awkward, I never felt any sort of spirit, the speakers usually made me sleepy… In every way possible I didn’t want to go. But I know how creating habits works. And I know that in order to create a habit you have to stick to it. Soooo there I went in my car with Macee, on our way to church just like EVERY week.

As my mom would say “over my dead body was this Wednesday like every week.”

My prayers were pretty dry for the first 20 minutes of quiet time, worship time seemed normal, but this time I didn’t mind praying for the people going. As Jason Stoker headed on stage I wasn’t really engaged, flipping through my bible, laughing at his jokes, and that was about it. Until he started talking about Teto, his friend, the child’s life he made an impact on just by loving on them.

I started to pay attention. Closer by the minute. Right after Jason’s story about Teto he said, “I know there are a lot of people out here tonight that would never go. But there is one person out there, in this crowd that would go right now. That is ready to serve, who doesn’t know how, who would leave everything in their comfort zone behind to make a difference in a child’s life.”

Balls. He was talking about me.

I started to choke up, and when he closed and we prayed, I started to cry, and when we sang to send us off it was no coincidence that my favorite song was the closing song.

“Give me faith, to trust what you say, that you’re good, and you’re love is great.”

So. I am going. I know there are a ton of details to get worked out and I plan to start small just a week in Africa to make sure I heard God right (but by the pull in my  heart and gut I don’t think I misheard him.) I am planning on joining the Pinelake missions team to Lesotho June 2-11. From there I am sure more fundraising will need to take place. But I am asking you to help. Lord knows living paycheck to paycheck doesn’t cover a trip to Africa. And it sure doesn’t cover a move across the country. But for those that have read this far I am asking for your help (which is not easy for me to do) because I am ready serve, I am ready to go, and I am ready to do BIG things for the Kingdom of God.